‘Through dragon’s fire made of ice, I change. I close my eyes to hear the stars whisper in my ear, though nothing is revealed. Torn between a past I don’t understand and a present I can’t escape, oh how my heart cries out please ancestors do not choose me.
It is a single kiss that fills my dreams and haunts me in every waking hour. A kiss filled with hells fire burns within me—a kiss. Invisible breezes rush past me on the cliff of my own demise where I feel my heart aching for the manifestation of something, someone that doesn’t exist. A kiss.
The cave calls to me, beckons me to enter just beyond the white thorn bush. There just ahead, past the fog travels a sound from a pan. I can see him, the clown that is. He waves to me every night and points the way. A kiss.
I wait for you my shadow man—the entity of my dreams. You are the soul that touches me. The past is gone the present soon to dawn and now I see the fabrics woven in the tapestries. It is a kiss I wait to give you. A kiss of freedom—a kiss from yesterday—a kiss that shreds the past and carries us unto the future. A kiss. Just as my dreams of seeing you are about to come alive—I awake.’
The alarm clock went off, dragging Cleo away from the cave where he waited. The first word out of her mouth was no. Always with in her grasp of understanding but never quite all the way, she sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes.
I am Shakya clan, the modern myth. I carry the flames of justice and see through the darkness of night. I am the guardian and the seeker. I am lion and my roar makes even the wolves shake.
The scent of wild lavender bells, miniature roses, daisies and baby’s breaths dusted the pine smelling breeze that floated through the air. The ground was brushed with bright colors of yellow, lavender and red from the wild flowers. The heartache of the past had died with the spring. Life was anew, fresh like the golden rays of the sun shining down on the world below. Nothing could rip the joy Alaynee had in her heart.
With the destruction of the Unnatural creature known as Ralph destroyed, and winter’s discontent put away in the drawer of the past, Alaynee knew all she had to do was answer the single question. Will you marry me? Jonah had asked. It was like life stood still for just a moment. He didn’t want an answer then, just the possibility of a future. When love’s sweet song would dance on her heart and play the strings of her soul. They would be forever tattooed on one another’s hearts and souls.
Deep within her stomach rested a small pit of disbelief and worry. The What if questions lingered in the back of her mind. What if they weren’t right for eachother? What if they were too young? What if they didn’t make it? What if—what if—so much is left to the possibility of chance and love, well she was her own bastard of the two sided coin that broke hearts on a daily basis.
Alaynee turned and looked at herself in the mirror. “He asked me to marry him,” she said out loud to her reflection. The ledge of concern was a steep fall but the glow in her eyes told a different story. She beamed with joy and love from within. Her entire body had a glow. The kind of glow only loves sweet touch can give. There was no denying it now. Alaynee knew in her heart the only answer she had to give Jonah and that was yes. Yes with all her body. Yes with all her mind and yes with all her soul. There was the possibility that nothing would work out, but there was also the possibility they could have all been killed just months ago. So why would she want to postpone the very thing she wanted most?
Alaynee put The Cure and danced around to the music. Lost in her own dream world, the knock at the door startled her.
“I’m leaving soon,” Cathy said.
Alaynee opened the door and hugged her mom with all she had. Tears streamed down her face. What light makes a girl dance and sing? What kind of joy brings so much happiness that one can’t help but cry? Love is that single emotion. It can take you to the greatest heights of laughter and joy while bring you down to the bottomless pits of hell. It is the one emotion that inhabits every other emotion and is the greatest driving force on the planet.
“What’s going on?” Cathy asked.
“I’ll tell you when you get back mom. It’s nothing bad. I promise,” she said. Her voice, whimsical with joy and revelation. She loved Jonah. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. They were going to bond.
“I’m going to miss you mom. Have a great show!” Alaynee said with enthusiasm.
“Are you sure you don’t want to go with me?” Cathy asked.
“Can’t. I have S.A.T.s on Monday and you won’t be back on time,” she said.
“I can make sure we get back on time,” Cathy said with a little hope in her voice.
“No mom, you worked so hard for this. I don’t want you to lose out. Not because of me,” Alaynee said.
“I would do anything for you, you know that don’t you?” Cathy asked.
“Of course. Mom, come on, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, you and your brother are just almost grown up, that’s all,” Cathy said.
Alaynee hugged her mom tight when tears formed in the corners of her eyes.
“Mom, we’re always going to need you,” she said.
More than you know now, she thought. Alaynee had debated on telling Cathy about the proposal, the truth was until just a few seconds ago, she hadn’t made up her mind.
“I’m going to be late for my flight if I stand here too much longer,” Cathy wiped the tears from her eyes. “Ok well I’ll be back in a few days. Watch out for your brothers will ya?”
“Always mom, no go or I’m going to ground you young lady,” Alaynee laughed.
She gave Cathy one more hug and watched her from the window as she got into her car and disappeared down the drive.
An answer, he needs an answer.
Copyright by Joann H. Buchanan